I wrote this a while back so I wouldn't forget anything. I just decided to post it if anyone is interested in a beautiful, natural birth story.
Disclaimer: No gorey details have been excluded. I'm a nurse. I love this stuff!
I just wanted to take a moment to commemorate my first birth experience ever with my baby, my son. I find myself a bit emotional as I think back upon those extraordinary hours in my life. I knew as I embarked upon the journey of birth that I would be joining with the ranks of women who have been mothering since the beginning of all time. I was going to be entering a part of the role in which I was created for. I knew God designed my body to do the physical work and he had fashioned my life to be surrounded by the people who loved me most. Occasionally I felt fear and anxiety regarding actually pushing a human being out of my vagina, yet at the same time I had great excitement to find out how my birth story would actually unfold.
So on Saturday, July 28th, we decided on the spur of the moment to go camping overnight at Deception Pass with Rachel and Richard. It was a beautiful summer day and after Beit Tikvah we ran over to the apt, grabbed some stuff and then piled in Richard’s truck to drive up north. People thought we were crazy for going camping so close to my due date, but we figured there were hospitals all along the way that I knew of, it was only an hour and a half away (and most labors last WAY longer than that!) and if worse came to worse, we could potentially have a really crazy story to tell about having a baby in the woods, in the Puget Sound, or on the highway! But, as I suspected, we were able to have a great overnight outdoors with no evidence of Baby! I did, however, start slowing down some. I felt like I needed to take smaller steps and I did find myself praying that the baby would wait to come out.
The Baby of unknown gender (at this point) did wait which allowed us to even stop by Erin and Colin’s apt in Marysville to have breakfast. Fun Times. And the fun continued when Nat and I got home Sunday the 29th because we just chilled, watched a movie and went to bed. BUT…I did start having contractions that evening at 5:00. They came irregularly…8 min, 12min, 5min, 16mins apart. I didn’t think I was in labor, but I did stay home and let Nat go to rent the movie because I wasn’t feeling up to it. Natanel also talked to Joshua about his schedule for the next day because he was scheduled to go far away for a job. Joshua did not seemed phased by the fact that I was having contractions and said not to worry, go to the jobs as planned because “women have contractions that last like that for days” =)
Then during the night, at a quarter to the hour, every hour, I had one super intense contraction. Each one felt like a menstrual cramp that could’ve caused my death. And after each one, every hour I got up and stumbled to the bathroom to go pee. I did not wake my sweet husband up at this point because he had to wake up at some ungodly hour to go head to work on the Hood Canal Bridge. But when his alarm went off at 5:00 am, I relayed the night’s events to him. He decided to draw me a bath because we knew that if I was in labor, a bath could either speed things up or slow things down. He cleaned our claw foot bath tub, started running the water, said goodbye and went on his way to work because he had to catch a ferry and couldn’t be late.
So there I was, home alone, possibly in labor, trying to be strong, but I really did not want to be alone. I got in the bath tub. I had three contractions. I didn’t have my phone nearby, nor was there a clock, so they were not timed, but I said to myself, “if I have one more contraction, I’m getting out of the water”. One more came right then, and I got out. As I was drying off, I discovered I had bloody show.
It was now 6:00 am and I paged my midwife, Michelle Sarju who was on call, as her partner, Tracy Cooper was on vacation. I relayed the above events to her explaining that my contractions were every 4-6 minutes apart. She asked if I was having to really work thru the contractions. I said it didn’t seem like it since I was talking to her just fine, etc. She said she had a full day in the clinic (I actually had an appointment scheduled that day, too). She affirmed that yes, it seemed I was in labor, so forget going to the appointment and she advised me to head to my parent’s house if I felt like going then, and she’d touch base with me sometime around noon.
I immediately called Natanel, feeling so relieved to have a real excuse for him to come home. I wanted to be near him. I told him what was going on and he excitedly said he just got off the ferry with Mika Arnold and would turn right around to catch the next ferry. Tears come to my eyes and a smile to my face as I think about that phone call. I could hear the smile on his face. He didn’t sound worried about me at all (maybe I wish there was a little more doting concern),but you could tell he was just stoked to get back to be with me and “do this!”
In the mean time, I did the dishes, straightened up our home, made the bed, and got ready so that we’d have an orderly home to return to cuz who knew when we’d be coming back. I continued to have contractions which I timed and wrote down each one. They were every 4-5 minutes apart. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. I went and relieved my bowels, seemingly of all it had. As gross as that seems, I felt excited because I knew that that was a hormonal reaction that happens in early labor to clean things out so that during pushing there wouldn’t be a lot of poo to come out, just a baby!
Natanel arrived home at 7:20 am. I was so happy to see him. He scurried around to grab a few things he thought we may need over the next few days, changed out of his work clothes and was almost ready to head over to my parents. At 7:25am I lost my mucus plug. My membranes had not yet ruptured. Just in case I grabbed a towel to sit on while in the car. I also grabbed a container to puke in, just in case.
It was a beautiful day. It was a Monday morning, my first day off work. I said I just wanted one day to sleep in. Oh well! July 30th, not a cloud in the sky, cool, clean, refreshing Seattle air. I knew how beautiful it was, but I must admit, I couldn’t exactly enjoy it. It was a pretty miserable car ride. There wasn’t any traffic or anything, thank God, but just sitting in one position during each contraction and going over bumps and such was not a pleasant experience, I just clenched the “oh shit bar” and braced myself each time. Since things were more intense quicker than I had expected, I kind of wanted to wait to call all the people on our list of who we wanted there (Rachel, Hahnna, Crystal, Soraya). I ended up being glad about that decision because I would have been embarrassed by the strong sounds I made while pushing, or would have been distracted by their presence.
We arrived at Emma and Abba’s house at about 8:00am. I had one contraction right when we pulled up, so I went thru that one before getting out of the car. As soon as it ended we made a run for the house…a very tortoise- like run. Then I had another contraction while walking up the steps right in front of the house, so we paused together to wait it out. At the same time my mom opened the front door (emotional and excited to see her baby about to have baby, I’m sure), but she thought I was crying and struggling and kept saying to my dad, “Shh! She’s crying” when in reality, I just couldn’t talk to her right then because I was having a contraction!!
Once inside, the reality hit me of what I had come there to do. Internally I became emotional as I realized that I would be meeting my baby. Externally, Natanel and my parents perceived that I was deep into true labor that I couldn’t focus on much. Therefore, we headed upstairs to my parent’s room to labor. It was dimly lit, clean, clutter had been removed, and soothing piano music was playing by Greg Shumake. I walked around for a few contractions, laid on the birth ball for a few, but then Nat took the initiative to fill up the tub since he knew I wanted to be in water. He also called Michelle to see if she should/ could come over sooner than she was planning as per my last conversation with her. When she answered the phone she said, “Ah! That’s the voice I was waiting to hear!” She knew at some point I would no longer be the one able to communicate what was happening and at that point she knew things were getting serious. Plus, she could hear me moaning beastly along with the contractions in the background. Michelle told Natanel that she would cancel all her appointments for the day and come over as soon as possible, assuming she’d arrive around 11:00 am or so. Gross detail #2…I also threw up during this time, a normal response to the intensity of labor as well as hormonal surges.
Then the bulk of my labor began, the stuff that felt like I was really getting serious about having a baby; Around 9:00 am I got into the tub. My whole body seemed more relaxed. With the buoyancy of the water my body was able to settle into a very neutral state with knees only slightly bent, but relaxed, arms floating weightlessly, and head able rest ergonomically. Honestly, I can recall the least information from this point on. I really only remember that I was in the tub, my eyes were closed most of the time, I made a lot of noises, then the baby was out. But I do know the contractions were getting stronger and more frequent. The way my body was naturally dealing with the contractions was to be vocal, releasing primal, very mamalistic sounds in response to the surges of discomfort. I also naturally “puffed” away urges to push when the time came with sounds like “pah, pah, pah” or “ha, ha, ha”.
The midwives arrived at about 10:30 am. Sunita, a naturopathic doctor studying to be a midwife arrived first. Later Michelle showed up with Molly. They never checked my cervix. They said they would if I wished it, but they figured I was progressing well according to how I was laboring. I remember asking if I had gone thru transition yet, and they laughed, saying that everyone wonders that! They said, “honey, you’re ready to push!” That felt good. I think I remember crying. That meant to me, that the bulk of the job had been accomplished and now there were only a few more intense hours ahead.
I pushed for a total of 40 minutes. While pushing, the baby’s head was right there, but my bag of water still had not ruptured, so I asked Michelle to rupture my membranes. She explained that the only draw back is that it would speed things up. I was ready to just “go for it”. The baby did a great job, too, working his way down and maneuvering thru my pelvis. While his head was crowning, I felt the “ring of fire” so acutely. Boy, is that phrase true. That was only time I said “ow” or “this hurts”. The rest of the time was just intense and uncomfortable, not painful, though I definitely had moments of thinking, “there’s no way you’re making me do this ever again!” (yeah, right).My mom kept asking if I wanted a towel to sit my tush on, or the music changed, but I didn’t care about any of that. I was focused, even though the same CD, with only 2 tracks on it played the entire time. Once his head was out, it took two more pushes, and out he slithered, screaming under water as he came out at 12:19 pm.
I will never forget that moment for all my life, nor will I be able to sufficiently convey how it felt. My jaw was dropped for what seemed like 10 minutes. My eyes kept scanning the room observing the hysterical crying of my mother, the weeping of my father, the joy of my sister, and the sheer gamut of emotions on my amazing husband’s face. I was overwhelmed. There I was, holding my baby, my very own child, my slimy, screaming, wonderfully made baby. He immediately gripped Nat’s finger with his whole hand and calmed down by connecting with his papa. What struck me most was how he looked exactly like my baby pictures! And then the big surprise…what was the gender? With my warm, pink baby held close to my chest, I lifted up his the baby’s leg and asked for Natanel to check…”it’s a boy!!”
Everyone was crying. So much love was in that little bathroom. But all I noticed was my incredible husband and our first born son. My husband, my love, who supported me perfectly, wonderfully, divinely. He was right by my face the whole time, even with the bathtub spout in his way during the pushing. He didn’t even notice. He was just right there with me, just what I needed. He tenderly wiped away my sweat (even though I wanted him to just go ahead and swipe my whole face clean with those washcloths!), he revived me by keeping ice-cool cloths on my face (even though the heat of my body dried them up so quickly), and spoke few, gentle words closely to me, in such a calm way. He was perfect. He is my gift. And he is what makes me love being a mother because I love being partners in this journey together with him.
Afterward I had to birth the placenta, which took some focused effort on my part, with Sunita’s help. With a few coughs, it came out perfectly intact and has been in the freezer ever since. Then we took a moment to cut the cord, which the little guy had tied into a perfect knot. It was a moment where we wanted to acknowledge that he was nourished by the placenta for all the time in utero, but now we would be the ones to take careful care of him. Then, after lots of blood running down my legs, I hobbled into bed to rest with my husband and our brand new baby boy. Everyone wanted us to rest or take a nap. We tried, but just couldn’t keep our eyes off of the little ball of wonder lying in between us.
Personally, I am very proud of the way I labored and delivered my son into the world. I felt powerful as a woman and empowered by the experience. I feel immensely blessed by how smoothly, naturally, and quickly things went. I am elated that there were no medical interventions needed. God was near the entire time. He brought peace and strength. I tried to follow the midwives’ advice: one week in the bed, one week on the bed, and one week around the bed to promote proper healing, especially since I had about 7 stitches at the end. I was so well taken care of. My parent’s gave up their room for us for a whole week. I had healthy snacks and water at all times from my sweet husband and loving mom. I am forever grateful for such an ideal experience, the experience of a lifetime!
so these days. So, after much ado and much persuasion from many people...I now have a blog.
